1 day shy of 38 weeks

And I have officially never been this far.

Tomorrow is 38 weeks.. I guess you have guessed that the doc appointment Friday was nothing too exciting.

For some reason, it was utterly depressing for me.

Still have not gained anymore weight and holding steady at 11 lbs...
BP was fine.
They told me to drink more water, I told them I was peeing enough at night as it is.

For the 3rd appointment in a row, they have had to zap my belly to wake Corgan up so they could get a decent heart rate strip going on him.... this time though I balled, and begged them not to wake him... it HURTS when he is awake... because he moves and it feels like he is trying to come through via my bladder.

I was already in an irritable and down mood, and the appointment, for some reason, put me over the edge.

I was having contractions, regularly, but they were very small contractions... not enough for me to even notice them.
Have made no progress and still at 2cm and he is still "floating"...

Doc said "see you next Friday and if you still haven't had him by then, we will induce on CINCO DE MAYO"...

As I shook my head in an "ok" fashion and was trying to hold back tears, he said "I am getting so excited for you!!"

I choked out a thanks and he left for me to be monitored for 10 more minutes and I balled the whole time... not in a "YAY it's almost time" sort of way, but in a "DAMMIT" sort of way.

I refused to talk on the phone after I left the doc... I texted who and what I needed to and took some grocery shopping time to myself to get things in perspective.

I am happy there is a light at the end of the tunnel (no pun intended).
I am happy that I might get to "plan" for everyone to be here and not miss anything.
I am happy he has been with me long enough to do all the growing and fattening up he needs to do.
I am happy that my 3rd baby boy is so comfy with momma.

I was/am just frustrated.
I was/am irritable.
I was/am just plan ready.
I was/am tired of being reminded everyday of his lack of appearance due to everyone asking me "how are you feeling?" "when do you think you will go into labor"... all the eeks.
I know I have a lot of people that care about me and I love that they care enough to ask questions, but I am tired of going to bed upset because people keep reminding me that I don't have yet what I can't wait for.

Maybe this Friday's appointment will be better for me.. MENTALLY. lol